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Balancing the Wings
By Lone Stephensen & Susanne Povelsen
Editors of the Danish Enneagram magazine Indsigt
It is well-known that the Enneatypes have wings which describe different variations of the type. We know how the wings imprint the basic Enneatypes. But description is one thing, while personal growth is another. That the wings can be used effectively for personal growth is probably less known. Michael Goldberg has come up with some very interesting thoughts about the wings in contradistinction to what is available in the most common literature. Here he talks about how the basic Enneatype acts to balance the wings. -LS & SP
MG: “Mr. Ichazo told me that every point (basic type) only exists as a result of the influence of the wings. He said that our wings are much more important the Enneatype itself because they help us understand the motive power in our Enneatype.
What we learn most about is the 9 “boxes” which have been refined with levels, subtypes and other things. These are very useful in describing the Enneatypes but for personal growth they are not that useful. What happens is that people learn about the nine types as if they were more and more polished boxes. They learn to distinguish the nuances in the types i.e. seeing some of the specific differences between for instance a social Three at level 5 and a sexual Three at level 4. This is ok because if you know how the Three thinks you can talk the language of the Three and match them with a sense of what their Threeness is. In other words you can through empathic contact mirror others in their type.
But inevitably people will – consciously or unconsciously – be chauvinistic or patriotic within their type. For example an Eight can say: “I am an Eight and you will have to learn to live with that”. You can learn how not to internalize the boldness of the Eight, you can learn to stand up to them and that it is all about their type. This can help you solve superficial problems but cannot change you or the Eight.”
So what we do is to help people stay in the box?
MG: “Yes, that’s right and there is also something good in this as the Enneatypes are so wonderful, they are surprising, charming and when we get to know them we are deeply moved. But what happens with the Enneagram – when the types get more and more refined – is like beauty in a box, it’s not usable.
Let me talk about the wings and why I find them interesting. Ichazo said that the basic type is the least important in the Enneagram. More important are the processes and the most important is the Enneagram as a whole that each and one of us carry it within.
The basic general process for the wings is that when we move clockwise around the circle we experience growth, inspiration and presence.
The basic process for the minus-wing (counter-clockwise) is that it draws “in and down” while the plus-wings draw “up and out”. The minus-wing is what I will call soulful and is about find authenticity and explore your inner foundation and motivation. The plus-wing (going clock-wise) most often shows how we participate in the world – spreading energy and light, happiness, good ideas and networking. It is stimulating, developing, it is what I would call spiritual – injecting spirituality. This is the way the wings work on both sides of the basic type. There is a drawing between the exterior and interior. The growth work is therefore not about polishing the Enneatype and making it more clear but about liberating the type.
One of my favorite examples is the Iliad. The story about setting out in the world, conquering, defending others, fighting, winning, loosing and finding your way in life. In the Iliad the types appear in the order of 1 to 9 (the plus-wings). In the Odyssey, which is a poem about coming home to your true self the types appear in reverse order from 9 to 1 (the minus-wings). It’s about going back and is therefore in alignment with the minus-wing’s searching in and back in time. In English we use the concepts spirit and soulful as if they are the same. But “spirit” is about having a vision, to see the radiant city on the hilltop, to see what could be, see the possibilities. “Soulful” is about working with the psychological material, the internal work, dreams and to elicit the inner self. Each Enneatype should have equal access to both wings in a graceful and light way.
Most people at least knows one of wings as some sort of “thank God I’m not like that”-thing. For some this applies for both wings. The challenge is to let the wings develop and having a good relationship with both.
When I work as a consultant in the business world I ask questions about the wings and set focus on them as I believe that this is what liberates the type. Instead of people saying “yes, I identify myself more and more with my type”, I would like them to identify less and less with the type and instead identify with the process.
Ichazo said, that the process starts with our minus-wing and then we jump forward to our plus-wing and at last we settle and solve the problem by finding the balance point (the basic Enneatype). Here is the example Ichazo gave me being a Seven. You are in the traffic just driving along. Someone cuts in in front of you creating a dangerous situation and you feel that you might as well have been killed. Your first reaction will be to jump into the Eight and get angry and swear. Then you get scared and anxious (jump back into the Six) and you might think “I don’t want to fight”. This all happens very quickly. Then you say to yourself “well, what the heck, lets get on with life, it is fun and good (finding the middle point – the Seven). Being a Seven I fight between anger and anxiety by reframing. If your contact with a wing is scarce there is something you do not want to face and there are without doubt things you can develop.
So what I work with when I do consulting is at first describing the types. That can help people understand… and that is one of the things which the Enneagram is very good at. Namely to obtain a lot of different information and see how things are connected; understand other people’s worldview: “Oh, they do it that way” and “Oh, it because their outlook is like that…” You can see the overall picture in the types and that is a good start. But when it comes to change… let us for instance look at the Ones: They are pretty rigid and they are all interested in doing a good job. They want everything to be perfect and in order, there are many rules… Most Ones truly want to help. They really take care of others, but when they are not healthy they forget to control the One habits. When I therefore work with Ones or a One group I begin to talk about the Two and say: “You have forgotten that it is all about people, people who have hearts and that you want to help, love and honor. How about these people’s reactions? How do they feel? This is often a revelation to the Ones. They have forgotten that people are people. Yes, they do think of themselves being helpful but they have actually forgotten to be helpful.
The One’s inner work is then to learn to follow the flow, just learn to go with the flow; learn to take things as they come, to relax. This is deep and surprising work for a One. Working with a One in psychotherapy and telling them “you have to relax” has a literal effect on the One, who will write down: “relax – I have to relax”. That just turns into a new rule and therefore doesn’t help them.
But if you say: “imagine that the world is a place that has a flow and has it’s own pace. If you should just stay with the flow and let go, what do you then believe the Universe wants? What does the Universe ask of you?” When I have worked directly with Ones it has most often shown that it is both shocking and frightening and ultimately a transforming thought. Instead of just working with their Oneness, the contact with the Nine-wing is the challenge in a nutshell.
For most Sevens it is difficult to handle anxiety in a direct way. But it is extremely useful and I would also say that one of the most subtle things for me as a Seven is my Eight wing and to make an impact. Sevens are creatures flying above the Earth. They have a wonderful view because they fly so high in the sky, but they miss having an impact i.e. landing and setting their marks. Eights are best at this. They don’t care if anyone runs them over; they care if they have to dig a ditch or blow up a building or if they have to crack eggs and make an omelet. They don’t care if they leave others behind, because they want to make an impact. And it deeply touches my heart when I think of the kind of impact I want to have. Instead of being this bright guy who does consulting I ask myself: where do I want to leave my mark? Am I really willing to do it and say “I have been here” and show that I have build this or had an impact on a person?
If I stay in my natural Seven habits I wouldn’t wish so. I wouldn’t think in those terms, I wouldn’t be a dilettante. But when I think of my Eight-wing I think of the few physical fights I have had I my life and in the pleasure they gave me afterwards – because I acted out instead of escaping. So when I work with a Seven I start by talking to them about all the exciting stuff that leads them to the plus-wing; talking about their personal growth in respect of making an impact. The difficult thing for Sevens is to see what the result would be, what should be changed and what will be left; what impact they would have and who they would go against. No more twisting in the mind, no more rationalizing, but where they are willing to express themselves and say “this is where I am”.
For a Five it is about the 6-wing, to fight for one side of a case; a case or a matter, a belief or to be on a team or fight for the good sake of it. Fives are outside, they are observers. But you can work with a Five and say “you have to connect more with yourself and with the world.” You can give small tips to a Five, but the transforming thing for the Five is to find a community; to be together with people they care about and being willing to fight for them instead of being the observer. To fight the fight instead of analyzing the fight. The challenging outer work is to be part of the community, an organization or find topics that they will engage with in the world. This is often frightening for Fives, but transforming. So in a Five organisation where everyone has their own little cell and don’t talk to each other, the question is: How are we a team, how are we together, what fight are we fighting that we don’t even know? This connects them. It brings them together and they can be very touched about it. It is challenging for most Fives – transforming and makes changes.
The inner work of a Five is to know that they are just as emotional and deep as the Four. The work here is to be willing to go with what the feelings tell you. To be willing to be carried away by feelings – even if it feels frightening. It is just as frightening for a 5 to be in the feelings, as it is for a One to go with the flow.
For most Five’s there are a shadow that they deny – “I’m not like this”. What I mean is that the Five no longer has to be alienated to their Four side, but can develop a relation to it and discover: Oh, I also have this part and I can visit it. I can be deep and emotional, I can get carried away by my emotions; I have access to great richness here”. That is the inner work for a Five – the soulful work.
Yes to have an easy, graceful and equal access to them both. With balance I mean to have a balanced access to them, so you see yourself more like a type 4-5-6 and a type 6-7-8.
Ichazo taught that you should not work with the internal lines. Because when you balance the wings, you will automatically move with the lines. If you work with the lines, it is as if you were teaching a Nine to become a Three and you cannot do that. In USA it has been tried to change a public Nine company to become a private Three company by liberating it. They tried to change the whole organization, but they couldn’t. To try to change a Nine to become a Three is like pushing a rope. But you can work with a Nine. The psychological work is here to express the anger, to take a stand, to stand by it (the Eight-wing). The practical work for a Nine is the One-wing; that there is right and wrong, both sides are not equally important. There are clear choices to be made, moral choices. You can’t just say “I don’t care” to everything. You can work realistic with a Nine on this and through their change they become productive, efficient and achieving like a Three.
How does the Nine get in contact with the Six?
“It seems as if the Nine automatically gets in contact with the Six when life intensifies – maybe under pressure or stress. Here a new paradigm occurs because the Nine suddenly finds himself in the position of the Six. The Nines are open, trustful and have an all-round view of the world. When they move to Six they shift from being inclusive to being confronting. The Six goes against ideas, forces or people and get their energy from this. When the Nine goes to Six it becomes easy to narrow their focus and prioritize and get things done.
For each basic type you can move around and see how it really doesn’t make any sense to create change through the stress-point or heart-point. Let me give an example: You cannot advise a Five by asking them to be an Eight or a Seven. But if they work with their deep emotions, participate in the world and act on what they believe in, then they become full of strength. They are suddenly willing to work in the world, make a stand and be strong.”
Does the Five then also come in contact with the Eight-point?
“Yes, when you go to Eight you are in a totally new Enneagram situation but it happens automatically by working with the wings right where you are now.”
Does it make sense to define yourself as for instance a Seven with a Six-wing?
“As a Seven with a Six-wing I know that I can by anxious but I do not believe that I am conscious of the process. I know facts about my anxiety but it demands conscious work to remember that I shall work with my process. When you have a strong wing you can work with the other wing and let go. A Seven with a Six-wing should therefore work with the Eight wing. I find my Eight-wing extremely interesting to develop. When I get in contact with it, it makes me very happy. I think we are strongly drawn to one of the sides and the work starts with the opposite side.”
Is one of the wings stronger in childhood and the other stronger as an adult?
“In midlife we go from being introverted to being extroverted or vice versa. I believe that one wing is more introverted and the other more extroverted, so it can be a fact that we change sides in the middle of our life.”
In your book “The 9 Ways of Working” you write that when we come to know people’s wings we get a sense of what they are running from and what they are longing for. Do you use this in your work?
“I think that in the creation of the basic Enneatype, every basic type is a rejection of what I call the shadow-wing. I think of the shadow-wing as the soul-wing. That is the wing where you do your inner work. For most people it’s the things they reject or are afraid of or things they are not in contact with. The plus-wing which I call the Ally in the book I now more see it as the spiritual wing.
To focus on the wings I ask very specific questions. For a Two to make changes through type Three I could ask: “How have you appreciated yourself for what you have achieved?” A Three I could ask: “What is your heart’s desire, what is your soul’s desire, what is meaningful for you and how do you see the picture of your true self?”
The Fours you can ask to describe the special island where they can stay and which is safe in respect to they huge ocean of feelings. A place where they are not swept away and where they can see the emotions as a wild hurricane, but where they at the same time stay on safe ground. Not a place where they are quiet or intellectual, not the superficial patterns of the Five but where they can be safe and secure. I can get worried when Fours believe that they only have to find the superficial personality traits from the Five (i.e. loneliness) instead of seeing the Five as a safe island from which the world can be observed.
So it’s about asking questions. People get dizzy or puzzled in a good way. That takes them away from their usual type-patterns.
It is very individual which of the wings you should work with, but generally the greatest growth work lies in the wing we the least want to know. There is growth potential in both wings and the true work is about balancing.”